I have been talking to some of my girlfriends lately just about life in general, and the more we spoke, the more I realized that there was a trend. WE ARE TIRED! We said it, we own it, and we will repeat it until we don’t have to say it anymore.
To add salt to an already tired wound, I read a quote today, and I didn’t know how to feel about it until I sat and let the words permeate.
Soon the calm contemplation turned in a moment of controlled rage coupled with many questions, then resulted in this post. I suppose that is the process my inspiration needs to go through to come to fruition. Anyway, the quote read, “A strong Black woman doesn’t let a tear stain her face.” HUH? WHY? I find these words unsettling, and as much as they are to be empowering, I find them borderline destructive. This is possibly why when a black woman is asked how she is, a lot of us will generally tell you that we are tired. And that tends to end the conversation or go to a place we didn’t intend for it to end up, with suggestions of lavender on a pillowcase or a long hot bath and a massage.
Let me be honest with you; sleep cannot and will not cure the type of tired we are experiencing. Our SOUL is tired, and if any of the above could cure a weary soul, there wouldn’t be a reason for this post. We are tired of only being seen as a character portrayed in the media. You know her, the head shaking, finger waving angry, rude, stubborn and overbearing female. Yeah, that one! And let me throw in the word aggressive because I know each of us has been called aggressive at some point in our lives, for merely speaking up for ourselves. On the other hand, we are strong, the shoulder to cry on, the problem solver, the advice giver, the prayer, the defender, and the force to be reckoned with, and the list goes on.
But what about the woman who resides at the core of who most of us are? The delicate part of us. The portion that, unfortunately, is considered out of ‘character’ when quiet and calm? And God forbid she shed a tear!
The black woman is expected, whether blatantly or covertly, to be all things to everyone, always to have a stiff upper lip and shake things off. And the term I often hear is “you’ll be fine, you’re strong,” but we have to understand that amid our strength, it can’t last forever.
I’m here to tell you we are not playing a role. As much as we keep going, it doesn’t negate the fact that we are running on empty, and the fumes are slowly choking the life out of us both mentally and physically. Our strength requires replenishment. And this is why we need to change the narrative that “A strong black woman doesn’t let a tear stain her face." The inability to show our emotions is not a trophy; instead, I see it as a death sentence wrapped in what some see as a compliment.
Black women everywhere we are allowed to cry, tears staining our beautiful faces is not a sign of weakness. It's a sign of unwavering strength and that underneath it all, we are still human and need to be seen that way.
Let's normalize the black woman as delicate as much as we normalize her as strong. Why? Because WE ARE TIRED!
Be Inspired!
(Image By @fillipephot via Pexels)
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