I just took out my braids, and my hair needs some serious TLC. My fellow curly, kinky-haired girls know that wash day is an actual all-day event. I am talking about watching a Netflix series, snacks, drinks and maybe a nap sitting upright as our hair air dries. The struggle is real, but the results are worth it.
Anyway, today's problem with my hair situation is that I also have errands to run and could not; correction, I would not go out looking like I just endured battle. So I grabbed a scarf and tied my hair in the cutest wrapped style, did my make-up, and went about my day. The moral of the story is that I was put together on the surface, and no one knew the complicated, dirty disaster under my headscarf except Jesus and me.
Being fake is the new trend, and everyone seems to be in style." – minequotes.com
We live in an age where social media is the breakfast, lunch and dinner of choice. It's a place where people cover the embarrassing and untidy parts of themselves with filters, carefully created "spontaneous" videos and fake ideals. They are primed, and proper outside searching for likes, follows, and compliments. Still, once the façade fades and their nakedness is revealed, I wonder how many dare to acknowledge their brokenness. I also wonder how many find it easier to concoct a new plan to cover everything up tomorrow as they struggle internally with unresolved trauma.
We have gotten so used to faking it til' we make it; it's no wonder when it's time for us to get to the root cause of our pain and sort out why we are the way we are; there is silence. We fail to see where fiction ends and reality begins.
We put so much stock in blending in and caring what others say and think that we neglect the necessary time it takes to figure ourselves out. It's almost as if we would rather bury the pain and hope it dissolves into oblivion but yet we forget that just because we bury something doesn't mean it's dead!
When we plant and water a seed, our intentions are for it to grow into something useful. If we think of our hurt in the same context, our untreated and ignored trauma may operate similarly. It's buried, watered with resentment, anger and unforgiveness and grows, but unfortunately produces more hurt, more pain, and the inability to move forward. And dare I say, it negatively affects our relationships and their ability to thrive.
I would much rather have the scar of an old wound that reminds me of where I have been and how I used to feel than one that is open and oozing with a hurt that never heals. We can spend years ignoring and covering our pain with a fake smile and outward appearance to the point it becomes a full-time job ensuring it never gets to the surface, but let me make this crystal clear, buried pain can't heal until it's unearthed.
I wonder why we are so afraid? Is it having to experience the uncomfortableness of dealing with the pain? If it is, rest assured you are not the only person with that fear, and you most certainly won't be the last. And I can promise you, once you have allowed yourself to feel the gut punch, pricks and stings of unearthing your pain, there is freedom and peace on the other side as the wounds heal. You may even have the audacity to ask yourself why you didn't face them sooner!
If I could describe the experience of letting go and allowing yourself to feel all the feelings, I would say it's like the warmth of the sun on your face after weeks of cloudy skies. It's like stepping from dry land into the ocean and feel the waves crash against your ankles. It's like melting into the embrace of someone you haven't seen in a while.
I challenge us to shift the energy of maintaining our façades and apply it to the removal of our masks. Let's make the first person we have a heart to heart, open and honest conversation with, be ourselves.
Be Inspired!
(Photo By: Ibolya Toldi via Pexels)
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