This week I learned firsthand how a destructive thought pattern could morph into inspiration. I went from questioning why I was writing a blog to whether or not I could sustain writing it weekly to, lastly, asking myself if anyone really cared.
Then I had a follow-up conversation with myself and said, I write because I love it. I can maintain a weekly blog, and it doesn’t matter if anyone cares, just as long as I do. And that was that!
“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.”
- Alyce Cornyn-Selby
They say confession is good for the soul, so here is mine. I have the gift of talking myself out of things regularly. Listen, I can justify buying the same pair of boots in all available colours simply because they are pretty and comfortable. But I possess that identical dedication when talking myself out of doing things that are good for me. I used to think it was pure stubbornness, but have realized it was a lack of belief in myself and my abilities.
Have you ever talked yourself out of something you know is good for you only to convince yourself that a dead end is the better choice? I know it sounds asinine, but it’s how we speak to ourselves and go through our lives.
Maybe we stay in a job because it pays well and the work is familiar. Perhaps we’re staying in a relationship because it’s comfortable. My favourite line is ‘I have invested so much time I may as well stay’ and to that, I ask this question. If you were putting your money into a bad stock that has been consistently plummeting, would you change stocks, or would you think, ‘I’ve been investing in it for ten years, I might as well continue losing money?’
Chew on that as I digress. More often than not, we allow opportunities to approach us, slap us in the face and walk away, then have the audacity to question why we are not progressing.
But why are we so willing to self-sabotage without hesitation? Why do we openly embrace the things that will end in demise but turn our backs on the good? Why are we so comfortable being the roadblock in our lives?
I would hate to think we have found comfort in our dysfunction and feel that we don’t deserve to be at peace and happy. Could we possibly not believe in our skills and abilities or think we don’t deserve better? And as sad as it sounds, I think that might be the very reason.
Sometimes we get so used to fighting to the point of exhaustion that the thought of life moving smoothly scares the crap out of us. We sit in angst, biting our nails and looking over our shoulders, anticipating the doom a gloom, never enjoying the moment.
Why has peace, calm and happiness become foreign?
I talked to a member of my tribe, and we had a good laugh on this very topic. We were saying that when things go smoothly, that is when we hold our breath the longest. As if we are bracing ourselves for the inevitable crap to hit the fan. We embrace chaos and turmoil with open arms only to emerge feeling like a complete wreck emotionally and somehow believe we have won. (twisted thinking)
We then agreed that while we hold our breath, close our eyes and fight, we miss out on joy.
I want us all to bring the normalcy back to celebrating when things go well, no matter how small.
I want us to stop holding our breath when the ship of life is sailing and enjoy the ride. I want us to stop looking over our shoulders for something terrible to happen and remain focused on the goodness coming our way. I want us to enjoy the moments, take risks and breath through the uncertainty and fear.
But most of all, I want us to get out of our way.
Be Inspired!
(Photo By @jekafe)
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