I like to pay attention to relationships. And not just the romantic ones but all relationships. I often have conversations about their breakdown and the actual cause of such a breakdown.
And maybe I have this desire to understand as I get older because I see how the landscape of how we date and nurture our romantic relationships and friendships have changed, and I don't feel that everyone places the same value on them anymore.
Our relationships have become somewhat easy to discard and move on without much thought or reflection. It's almost as if we can't be bothered to work on them because it's possibly too much work, and we don't want to go through the motions of discovering and fixing the problem.
So I thought I would do some of the work for us and identify an area that more than likely requires adjustment.
If we look at what is lacking in most of our relationships, we can say that intimacy is one of the most significant factors. And before our minds trail off into the bedroom, let's be clear that although intimacy does include sex, it's not ONLY about sex.
"Intimacy is not purely physical. It's the act of connecting with someone so deeply; you feel like you can see into their soul." — Anonymous
I love definitions and believe they set the foundation for understanding and gives us the ability to move forward in conversation, so let's start there. Intimacy is defined as closeness, a strong familiarity, or friendship. But I want to go a step further and include that outside of sex, intimacy has some other faces that we tend to forget, and I think they are the missing links in our relationships and friendships.
The other faces of intimacy are:
Emotional – Can we be vulnerable with one another?
Intellectual – Can we discuss world events and points of view?
Experiential – Do we share our life experiences, both good and evil?
Spiritual – Do we have the same or similar belief system?
The commonality among all of these is communication! People! We need to be better communicators, myself included, and speak openly to one another without fear of repercussion. These forms of intimacy all require a level of vulnerability and openness. And I think the lack of some or all of the above is what is killing our relationships. It's almost as if we can only focus on one area of intimacy and can't seem to multitask, causing all the other areas to suffer. This leaves our relationship lopsided and unfulfilling.
So I pose a question and a challenge wrapped into one. Let's think about the individuals we are closely connected with and assess if intimacy is part of our relationship. If you are blessed enough to say yes, then I congratulate you. If the answer is no or kind of, then I ask if we are willing to do the work to ensure it becomes balanced on all sides?
I believe that intimacy creates soul connections. It goes beyond the surface and creates depth. When we explore intimacy, we attempt to dive into the inner workings of how we operate within the confines of our relationships and is beneficial to all involved.
I want us to have uncomfortable conversations with one another and slowly peel back the layers we all have. I want us to find a safe space for our emotions and create a place where intimacy not only resides but grows. I want us to get intimate for the sake of the longevity, quality and depth of our current and future relationships.
Be Inspired!
(Photo by: Alekandr Burzinski via Pexels)
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