I am staying on the theme of love since my last post sparked conversation in my DMs and within my inner circle. Honestly, if you haven't read part 1 called, For Love's Sake!, I recommend you click above and take a peek, then come back to read this one.
Let's face it, being pretty or handsome is nice, but it's not enough.
A few thoughts came to me and being who I am, and I can't move past them without giving each one careful consideration. Please bear with me as I process as most introverts do.
I saw a random quote in my IG feed, and so many people liked it, but the message troubled my sometimes sensitive spirit. See, the premise behind this quote was that you know you're in love and that it's going to last if you first go through hell and high water and remain together.
Although some of that may be true, it also implied that without struggle, love couldn't show its face in the first place, which is where I disagree.
We live in a world where we are conditioned to believe that struggle is required in advance to experience love and joy. It's almost an all-or-nothing mentality.
And I want to share that prior struggle or ability to withstand said struggle is not required for a sustainable love relationship. Hurt is not a prerequisite for a lasting connection!
Maybe we need to step outside the dysfunctional "normal" and venture into a different direction. Perhaps we need to find comfort in revolting against the status quote in an attempt to build healthy, loving, long-term relationships.
I am not naive to think there won't be disagreements because as long as we have two humans inhabiting the same space, there will be friction. Still, I believe when we have friendship combined with healthy, open and mature communication, those disagreements will be short-lived, and love will continue to flourish in ways we may have never experienced without those components at the foundation.
Someone in my circle asked me why I am so hell-bent on pushing friendship as the foundation of love relationships, and I laughed and explained I'm not a pusher. I am just passionate and want to see people, including myself, invest in healthy, thriving relationships.
We often come up with dozens of things we want in our love unions but leave friendship out of the equation. I think it's because we don't see friendship as being significant. After all, it seems too simple.
I equate it to cooking without salt. It is a simple ingredient that enhances the overall flavour of a dish, and without it, your meal is bland. But when you add it to your food, there is a flavour explosion! It makes you pallet dance, and there is a fantastic depth to the entire experience.
For me, friendship is that salt, and there is no limit to its consumption!
This last thought was inspired by a video I received from a friend last week, and I am posing this question to those of you who are single, in a relationship or situationship (no judgement).
What do you have to offer in your relationship? I ask because sometimes we can be so selfish and only focus on what WE want out of a relationship that we never stop to ask a fundamental question. What do I have to offer?
Let's face it, being pretty or handsome is nice, but it's not enough. And as much as I want someone who is a safe place for my emotions, I have to be willing to turn that around and examine if I can be that safe place for my mate. See, it's great to have the list, the standards, the blueprint or whatever you want to call it, but we have to bring something to the proverbial table if we expect our relationships to be strong and prosper.
I want to leave you with a few thoughts before I sign off.
Not everything in our lives needs to start from a place of pain to mature into something extraordinary. Sometimes connections are just beautiful from inception, so let's embrace and nurture them as they are.
Also, let's take the time to cultivate solid friendships at the foundation of our love relationships because I genuinely believe that the return on this investment is priceless. So please don't skip the salt.
And last but not least, I need to challenge you. Take the time to look at the list I know you have, which indicates all the things you want from a partner and then see how you measure up to your request.
Love has to start somewhere, so why not have it start with you?
Be Inspired!
(Image courtesy of Pixaby)
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